Foot-boll(ocks)!!

Champions of England! Champions of Europe! Champions of the World! Winners of the Carling Cup!

Venue: Old Trafford.

Attendance: 75569

Opponents: Liverpool

Scoreline: Manchester United 4 - Liverpool 1 (Oh O! I mean the other way around.)

Disaster! Katastrophe! Calamité! Desastres! Or in simple Indian - BHENCHOT!!!!

How did this happen? Or like the way Richie says to one of his sidekicks in The History of Violence - How did we fuck that up? I just can't believe it!

We were 7 points clear with a game in hand and at the top of the table. Crusing in true sense. Then came the scousers beating their drums after a fantastic win against Real Madrid in the Champions League. And did we not FUCK it up? Yes, we got beat 4-1. But it was more about our defensive shambles than Liverpool's offense. The same defense which is the base for our push on 5 fronts this season. Vidic's schoolboy errors handed them 2 piss-easy goals. And the scousers had the bext 2 weeks in recent memory. Although, as Steve Gardner mentioned in his blog on Manutd.com, they tend to forget that we had the the best 2 decades. 

I never in my worst nightmares thought we would lose so badly. Losing against Liverpool always hurts. Losing 4 goals to 1 is even bad. And that too at Old Trafford is just catostrophic. I was fortunate to escape the stick from my liverpool supporting mates in India as I was on my way back to London that day. 

The result was a one-off. Or that's what we thought. We all were expecting a backslash against Fulham at Craven Cottage. We even pitied the poor Whites or Cottagers as they love to call themselves. Roy Hodgson even gave an interesting statement before the game when it sounded defeat even before the game started. He said Chelsea and Liverpool should expect no favours from Fulham when they visit. Although it sounded like a white flag before the battle, it seemt more out of Fergie's books if anything. 

We played absolutely rubbish in the first half but upped the tempo in the second half and should have got away with atleast a point. Both results show us in a very poor state altough we played quite outstandingly, arguably. But then we did come away with 3 points when we weren't at our very best previously in the campaign. Sir Alex kept on hinting that we would drop points at some point or the other. Even he would never have imagined we would come true to his words against the scousers. The players have had a fantastic season so far bar the last few games. Vidic has been outstanding. He has just had one bad game and I am sure he will come up with the goods come the rest of the season. We would miss Rooney, Scholesy and Vidic against Villa. But I think our squad is big enough and I believe we can cope with it for the next few games.

What next? I have no bloody idea. I am losing my sleep over it. I want the premier league desperately! At any cost! We cannot afford to drop any more points. Coming away with 3 points against Villa is vital to show everyone that it was a one off week. We always make it hard for ourselves, we always do. This is the 18th! This is the season when we knock the scousers off their fecking perch. I dont want to lose this one. I can't imagine how much the scousers would love it to rub it in for years to come if we bottle this one up. I dont care about the Champions League or the FA cup for that matter. It was always an unrealistic expectation to win 5 trophies anyways. 

We have to show belief. We have to support the reds. We always win it. We should take it by the scruff off the neck. Come on you reds!

B-E-L-I-E-V-E

Virgin Diaries

Virgin media weekly football and other sport opinions. Cracks me up. Some excerpts.

Hammer Time!

Suffering one of the greatest reversals in fortune since R Kelly bought a video camera, West Ham are having a nightmare. Losing a sponsor is one thing, losing two quality defenders is plain careless. But being fined for Sheffield United being crap is downright unfair! West Ham may have got a bewildered Tevez on loan from El Del Boy but he was only one player in a team that played its way out of trouble – Sheffield United’s team didn’t. How about athletes suing other countries’ teams for having better training facilities? How about ugly people suing people who got married after having plastic surgery?

Scolari: Diary of the Manager

I even more of genius now as even Kalou score with me here! I think next week the linesman will score from 30 yards just cos I near him! Chelsea were slightly disappoint that we not beat the Manchester United but we were better side and if my little Deco had been playing we would have won by fourteen goals. At least I learn lot of useful English like ‘I didn’t see the incident’ or ‘A point is still a point’ and ‘It is a game of two calves:’ our donkey calf was definitely Anelka! Aye currumba he could not hit water falling out of a boat. I say you want to make the angel with the hands get the devil out of your feet beardo! He sulk like big girl of course but when I say ‘Play better or I buy Michael Owen at Christmas’ he train a bit harder.

THE FOOTIE 100

Rich City Boys

Jay Rodriguez – Burnley Local lad dumps Premiership team out of the Carling Cup. It’s like a Roy of the Rovers storyline but with better hair.

Michel Kuiper – Brighton Great save to put Brighton past Man City… what do they say about money not being everything?

Damien Stewart – QPR Headed a goal that means Aston Villa will have another season of mediocrity.

Collapsed American Bank Employees

Emmanuel Pogatetz – Middlesbrough Terrible tackle on Man U’s Possebon makes him now the most hated man in Surrey.

Hayden Mullins – West Ham Rounding off a perfect week for the Hammers with an own goal to knock them out of the only Cup competition teams like West Ham could win.

Newcastles defence – All of them Easily confused with an episode of the Chuckle Brothers.

WAG WATCH

Golf WAG SPECIAL

OK, Europe lost the Ryder Cup but they’ve certainly got a better class of WAG than footballers and jokes that revolve around the following five words

1) wood

2) ride her

3) balls

4) bogey

5) birdies

Anyway - have a look at the ladies HERE

Some more Diaries:

Anyone who’s ever watched a Jackie Chan film knows that the underdog can always win, get the stunning girl, change the world and maybe have a nice sing song. Hull are very much like a Jackie Chan film apart from the changing the world bit. And the stunning girls. That team are heroes at the moment, up at seventh in the league and not afraid of anyone. They’ve got the pretty boys of Arsenal next and must fancy their chances, and to be truthful, so do I. A couple of hard tackles and an eight man defence and they could nick it one nil – and at 12/1 it’s well worth a flutter.

Gets inside: Terence ‘Terry’ Venables

So Toony Venables is it now? If El Tel does take over at Newcastle fans will hope he’ll bring the magic of Euro 96 with him and not the tragic of Euro 2008. And let’s face it; the tanned one knows a thing or two about management having had some form of coaching role with Crystal Palace, QPR, Barcelona, Spurs, Australia, Middlesbrough, and Leeds, even acting as Chairman of Portsmouth for about 5 minutes. Let’s not forget he was an England player in his day, capped twice in the late 1960s and has won his fair share of cups in his own little barrel chested way. But what will the Toon Army make of the man? He might be alright if he brings Shearer with him…

THE LAST WORDS:

"I would rather Arsenal win the league than certain other teams" - Sir Alex Ferguson. No really. Please.

Sequel

So, finally, after over a week from the day we were crowned Champions, I still cant believe it. Even today at times when I get up in the morning and look at the massive wallpaper that I have of the Theatre of Dreams next to my bed, I can't truly believe that we have finally done it. The European double that I was so desperately waiting for. It has been 9 long years. Unfair long years. Unfair because we deserved to win the Champions League before when we came so close but yet so far from winning it by faltering at the Semi-finals on more than a few occasions.

When a few years ago in 2005, we lost against Benfica in Lisbon, it hurt. It was not only embarrassing but it didn't honestly reflect the true potential United had. Back then we had Roy Keane, Ruud, Alan Smith & the cunt of a man Gabriel Heinze apart from this years team sans the new signings. After that loss, I read somewhere United would never win the European Cup again with Fergie at the helm. It was depressing. But how has the man turned the fortunes around.

With backing of the once-evil Glazers, who were blasted by the supporters for taking over the club, he made some stunning purchases this season with the addition of Anderson, Nani & Owen Hargreaves with the combined splash of about £ 50 m. People raised their eyebrows but I guess there won't be anyone complaining now. Anderson has been an absolute revelation this season with his skills and calmness. He has won over the Old Trafford faithful and looks set to be a replacement for the ginger prince Paul Scholes. His antics against Lehman in the Arsenal vs Man United match where he kept on distracting Lehman was an absolute joy to watch. But I still believe its too early to judge him. People have been kind-of hyping him a bit too much I reckon although there is no denying the fact that he has truckloads of talent. The only concern is, he keeps his feet on the ground. You cannot by any means ignore the obvious lack of fidelity or loyalty in today's so called baby-Bentley's. But I hope Anderson n likes emulate Scholes by packing their bags n going home after every game. Same goes with the Portuguese almost-there Nani who keeps on losing his head every now n then and gets involved in some foolish blockheadedness. But no matter how insane these young players get, as long as fergie is there, he would almost certainly manage them and bring them back to earth and keep them hungry.

The only depressing fact is that the man himself has ruled out being the manager after maximum 3 years. It is just unbelievable. I cant imagine Manchester United without Fergie. I have grown up supporting them. Waking up in the morning and reading in the papers about the stupidity from the other club owners like la Perry, Shinawatra or sugarpapa Abramovich and then the scuffles with their managers makes a very good and hysterical reading. But that was all because at the back of the mind we knew our club was in the safe hands of Fergie and Sir Bobby. I don't want to go into the retirement thing so early but I hope Fergie stays as long as he physically can.

IN FERGIE WE TRUST

Anyways, as many people have done it, I would love to make my Premier League XI for the year 2007-08. Here are the 11 men who performed well for their clubs.

Goal Keeper: David James (Portsmouth)

Defense: Bacary Sagna (Arsenal) Nemanja Vidic; Rio Ferdinand; Evra (all United)

Midfield: Ronaldo (United) Gareth Barry (Villa) Michael Essien; Joe Cole (both Chelsea)

Strikers: Fernando Torres (Liverpool) Adebayor (Arsenal)

Subs: Lescott (Everton) Lampard (Chelsea) Downing (Boro) Cech (Chelsea) S Cruz (Blackburn)

Manchester United Champions League: Fergie's class of 1999 v 2008

Sir Alex Ferguson's current crop of stars are grabbing the headlines, but how do they compare to the treble-winning Manchester United side of 1999?
Ferguson's class of 1999

Peter Schmeichel: Fergie called him 'bargain of the century', others simply the best goalkeeper ever; went out on the high of Barcelona.10/10
Gary Neville: Already an established international, a home-grown player who could be relied upon in defence and on the overlap down the right wing. 9/10
Jaap Stam: Voted best defender in Europe in 1999; strong and calm, his importance to United recognised fully after his departure. 9/10
Ronny Johnsen: One of the unsung and almost forgotten heroes; a defensive midfield anchor man of great ability and value. 8/10
Denis Irwin: One of the corner-stones, and arguably one of the game's greatest full-backs for his work-rate, versatility, dependability and unflappability. 9/10
Ryan Giggs: The consummate professional, and outstanding wide player, had already developed into one of the more mature senior members of the squad. 9/10
Nicky Butt: Often overshadowed in United's midfield, where he was seen as Keane's stand-in, but always committed, eager and understated. 8/10
David Beckham: Dead-ball skills underlined with corners that led to United's goals; already on way to superstardom despite deputising in central midfield. 9/10
Jesper Blomqvist: Talented Danish winger brought in as back-up to Giggs, but Barcelona was his last game before succumbing to another injury. 7/10
Andy Cole: At his goalscoring peak, playing a key role throughout the season in an almost telepathic partnership with Dwight Yorke. 9/10
Dwight Yorke: Top league goalscorer, his prolific understanding with Cole brought the strikers 53 goals between them during the season. 9/10
Teddy Sheringham: Limited opportunities at 33, but still scored crucial goals in the finals of the FA Cup and Champions League. 7/10
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer: At height of his supersub days, coming off bench to score majority of his 20 goals, including winner against Bayern Munich. 8/10
Roy Keane: Gave one of best performances of career in the semi-final in Turin, but a booking ruled out of final. 9/10
Paul Scholes: Key midfield partnership with Keane which allowed him to get forward to make and score goals, but missed final through suspension. 9/10
Total: 129 / 150

Ferguson's class of 2008

Edwin van der Sar: Made most of season in which he was expected to be usurped by Ben Foster, and given some creditable performances between injuries. 8/10
Wes Brown: Limited opportunities at his preferred centre-half position, but has deputised for
Neville: at full-back in typically no-nonsense style. 8/10
Rio Ferdinand: Has become the dominant, classy, unruffled centre-half that had been expected of him throughout his career, though not always delivered. 9/10
Nemanja Vidic: The modern-day Steve Bruce to Ferdinand's Gary Pallister; has physical presence and great heading ability at both ends of pitch. 9/10
Patrice Evra: Overcome a mixed start, the former winger has turned into a quick and committed left-back, always looking to go forward. 8/10
Paul Scholes: Keane's departure allowed him to grow as a player, and become the team's pivot; seems to see things before other players. 10/10
Cristiano Ronaldo: Simply the most complete player around: equally adept in the air as on the ground, and takes a wicked free-kick. 10/10
Owen Hargreaves: Not quite Keane's successor yet, but his tenacious approach is ideally suited to the holding midfield role he occupies. 8/10
Ryan Giggs: Still around first-team squad, but some indifferent performances suggest that, at 34, anno domini is starting to catch up. 7/10
Wayne Rooney: Has a football brain beyond his 22 years; sizes up situations in an instant and invariably does the right thing. 9/10
Carlos Tevez: The darting, willing, charismatic striker has developed an excellent rapport with Rooney and Ronaldo, and scored his share of goals. 9/10
Nani: Potential there for all to see: could be another Ronaldo if he curbs tendency to get carried away and showboat. 8/10
Anderson: An assured playmaker of deceptive strength, he has improved game by game, and could prove the discovery of the season. 8/10
Michael Carrick: Still a bit of an enigma; dominant on his day, but not really made the holding role his own yet. 7/10
Darren Fletcher: Injury has hampered a season in which he was starting to challenge the galactios for a regular place in midfield. 7/10
Total: 124 / 150

- By Martin Smith
1:19pm BST 10/04/2008
The Telegraph

Squeaky Bum time

Well, lets talk football. Its down to the final tense moments of the season. or Squeaky bum time as Fergie likes to put it. And boy what a season. Real good. So being a die hard Manchester United supporter, the feeling is a bit bittersweet. Sweet because we are leading and mathematically look comfortable with a 3 point cushion. But bitter because the days ahead look tough. Anyways, let me get my unbiased hat on with a pen and a paper. So. The top three have 5 games left. United look to have the toughest games ahead while the Chavs look to have the easiest. Arsenal, well, even if they had the bottom 5 teams to play against, they would've still drawn I guess. Can u bet with them? I wouldn't if I was you. (well I've lost a lot on em so trust me).

So, Man United have Arsenal at home, Blackburn Away, Chelsea Away, West Ham home & then Wigan Away.
Let us look at the worst case scenario. If they draw against Arsenal and Blackburn, loose against the chavs (lucky Chelsea) & win against the Hammers and Wigan, then they will end up with 85 Points. Although the dropped points against boro the other week could prove costly. What is it that boro have got in them that they play decent football against the top teams and still at one point of the season fight for relegation, is beyond me. But credit to Mr. Southgate and his boys.


Now, Chelsea have Wigan Home, Everton Away, Man United home, New Castle Home and Bolton Away.
If Chelsea win against Wigan, United, the Toon & Bolton and draw against the other half of Scouse-land ie Everton, then they end up with 87 Points. Meaning it would go right down to the wire. Considering the other matches going as I forecasted, as everyone has already started it, the billing will be on the titanic clash at Stamford Bridge come April the 26th. The team which wins that game, would win the premier League. But we cant just ignore the other games as walk overs. Everton fighting for the 4th spot should do well at home. Also, Wigan and Bolton battling it out for getting out of the relegation zone, won't be child's play either. I don't expect them to win against the men from London but a tough fight means a weakend Chelsea side already without their two first choice Goal Keepers in Cech and Cudicini. Also, looking at the sudden revival of the Geordie's under King (yah, right!!) Kev, for once looks like a good thing. Yes I dont really fancy Mr. Keegan but I somehow have a soft spot for the Toon and always wanted them to do good, except in 95-96 for obvious reasons. So, I expect them to snatch a point from Mr. Avram face-like-a-wet-weekend-in-Middlesbrough Grant. They do that and I promise I wont ever laugh at Keegan again. Even if he does the squeeze-water-bottle-for-joy thing. I promise. Ok, I'll try. For a month. OK a Week. Ah What the heck! Do it for us this time boys. Come on the toon army.

So we come down to Arsenal. Arsenal have Man United Away, Reading Home, Derby Away, Everton Home, Sunderland Away.
Lets give Arsenal the benefit of the doubt and lets forget they drew their last two League games. Lets say Arsenal win their last 5 games. That will give them 85 Points and they will lead Man United by 1 point. Yeah I have predicted Man United to have 85 points but then if they loose against Arsenal (instead of a draw) then they get 1 Point less as predicted. So they end up with 84 and Arsenal with 85. But lets be practical for a while. I don't see them beating United at their home. And that's when it will be crucial. They beat United at Old Trafford and the race will be wide open. But then the rest of the games don't look too difficult. They'd beat Reading, Derby, Everton & Sunderland easy. So lets assume they draw against United. And win the rest of their games. They will end up with 84 Points and hence 1 short of United.

So it is set for a cracker of a finish. And if Fergie and his Men in red keep up the way they are playing domestically and keep the nerves as they traditionally do during "squeaky bum periods", I don't see anyone catching them. I trust in Sir Alex and the boys and he is experienced enough to have a better approach. I know whatever I have predicted is not going to end up even 50 percent correct but who pays for guessing. I got truckloads of bandwidth to use and plenty of time to spare.

Lets Cheer on the Reds from Manchester.

We shall not, we shall not be moved,
We shall not, we shall not be moved,
Just like the team,

that's gonna win the Football League - again!
We shall not, we shall not be moved.

Glory Glory Man United.