That was my frame of mind when things were goin really tough wid me. Nuthin was working out. I was frustrated, dumbfounded and scared of life not knowing what to do. But times have changed (maybe) since then!! I never thought these days will come but yeah due to enormous efforts of my mom and her will power plus the good wishes of all my friends and relatives, today I am living my life in the UK. I still remember those days when I had no one to talk to than some chat friends. There was just my computer who i could talk to!(?) So I started writing down things...errrr typing down! Today its not really something different. I am still searching for that someone special who I could talk to, share things, thoughts, ambitions. I really miss Adwait! Man we used to have a great time. But the show must go on! He is still in coma, and am here for my studies...makin money, careers...!! Yeah I still am confused. True I have some LAKSHYA now...there is some hope back in my life. I'd be lying if I say that I really never was so excited about being in the UK. Life is ok here...but sometimes I really wonder whther thr is life here. There is no fun, no excitement, no rush like there is in India. I miss my country, my friends, my city...my pune. I miss those times i used to spend with my friends at JM Road. I miss drinkin that cuppa tea at the tapris. I miss that pan of mamu! i miss my Pulsar....those fast drives i used to have with Satya on the roads makin other drivers look like fools. Man i miss those roads of Pune with pits makin ur ride a bumpy one. I miss That Butter Chicken at Shreenath. I miss the 20 Rs. A1 Chinese.....Damn I miss it all. But what I really miss is my mom. She is so proud and
happy today that her son is studying in the Uk that she must be telling everyone about me with her head held high. I still remember those troublesome times we had during my dads medical surgeries and recovery and the worst periods after my dads death. Mom never gave up. Everyone was against us. EVERY FUCKIN PERSON AROUND US!!! NONE OF THESE FILTHY ASSHOLES EVER OFFERED A HELPING HAND. But today I thank em all. If they had helped me that time I wouldve still been a lazy bum. Their attitude made me a fighter.
I still can see myself sitting in front of my mom after 15 days of my dads death at our place, when she was saying...."Aloo we cannot give up, you cannot give up, I am there for u three. You are my property now. I will work as hard as possible to provide you with all the amenities ur dad could give u. I am not assuring u but I will try. But we need to cut down our costs as of now......."
But then she said...." Aloo I can work till my hands allow me to...my body allows me to...my legs allow me to...! Till that time you have to study. AFTER THAT YOU ARE YOUR BROTHER AND SISTERS DAD. you have to take care of them."
Those words are the heaviest burden i ever had lived with me. I was scared, confused about what to do.
But now i think the days are changing...I just got da FEEL! Still am unsure.
I guess god is there. He is testing me....He really is.....
And i just have to say one thing....I am ready god...Just gimme the Strength!!! I dont want anything else. Gimme the strength to fight. Gimme the Strength to work hard.
Gimme the Strength to pass your tests.
I Dont want anything else god........If ur listening..........
happy today that her son is studying in the Uk that she must be telling everyone about me with her head held high. I still remember those troublesome times we had during my dads medical surgeries and recovery and the worst periods after my dads death. Mom never gave up. Everyone was against us. EVERY FUCKIN PERSON AROUND US!!! NONE OF THESE FILTHY ASSHOLES EVER OFFERED A HELPING HAND. But today I thank em all. If they had helped me that time I wouldve still been a lazy bum. Their attitude made me a fighter.
I still can see myself sitting in front of my mom after 15 days of my dads death at our place, when she was saying...."Aloo we cannot give up, you cannot give up, I am there for u three. You are my property now. I will work as hard as possible to provide you with all the amenities ur dad could give u. I am not assuring u but I will try. But we need to cut down our costs as of now......."
But then she said...." Aloo I can work till my hands allow me to...my body allows me to...my legs allow me to...! Till that time you have to study. AFTER THAT YOU ARE YOUR BROTHER AND SISTERS DAD. you have to take care of them."
Those words are the heaviest burden i ever had lived with me. I was scared, confused about what to do.
But now i think the days are changing...I just got da FEEL! Still am unsure.
I guess god is there. He is testing me....He really is.....
And i just have to say one thing....I am ready god...Just gimme the Strength!!! I dont want anything else. Gimme the strength to fight. Gimme the Strength to work hard.
Gimme the Strength to pass your tests.
I Dont want anything else god........If ur listening..........
