Women

I was a just-born and she was Twenty-Five,
Though we were we, we were one.
I would cry out in Latin and she would respond in Greek,
I would learn nothing but she never got tired to teach.

I was surrounded by monsters eager to pull my cheek,
but they would vanish the moment I was wet and weep.
She would come running and hold me in her arms,
as if I had won the contest of the charms.

Now I was able to walk and chew,
and hey, I was two.
I and she could now understand each other,
I was her everything and she needed no other.
I would try to walk and fall down,
But knowing she was with me,
the fear of getting hurt was now gone.

We still could not converse that effectively,
But she would understand my needs so easily.
I could now roam about free,
because now I have turned three.

I was ready to join a new world,
my academic life was now gonna mould.
She would dress me as best as a prince,
but when I would come back,
she would need at least an hour to rinse.

I was now able to talk,
I was a ferry and she was my dock.
I still remember the child, whose shirt I had tore,
Hey buddy, I have turned four.

I now came home a little late,
Nevertheless finding her waiting at the gate.
She would hug me and carry me in her arms,
it felt like flying through the farms.

We now did the homework together,
I would spoil the home and she used to work.
Years passed and now I was fifteen,
and with each year I would forget to lean.

I wouldn't care for what she said,
because now I had become mean.
She would ask me to study for a good future,
but I was busy in a different culture.

Now I had many shes in my life,
I dreamed of having one of them as my wife.
I changed a lot which she did not teach,
She would try to hug me but I was out of reach.

She still waited for me at the gate,
but I would look at her with utmost hate.
She would be awake till late in the night,
because I wasn't home, I was in a fight.

She had so much to scold, but she never did say,
hoping to find me better the next day.

Time went on and now I am grown,
lost in the world of my own.

I and she, between us have a river,
I have left her for my career.
When I was young, for me, she sacrificed her ambitions,
but I don't care, I now have my own mission.
I am not with her now, I am in a different city,
she is so old now but I don't even pity.

She needs me now but I am nowhere to find,
in the race for appraisal, I have become blind.
In a few years from now, I will be two,
there will be in my life someone new.
Then I'll forget even to bother,
I am her son and she is my Mother

Doesn’t this explain a lot? A true journey of a woman from someone else’s point of view. Her other life. Her Son/Daughter. A woman dedicates half of her life for someone else’s cause. She always does. When she is young, she makes sacrifices for her boyfriend. When she gets married, its her husband. When she has kids, her life ends right there. She dedicates the rest of her life for the upbringing of not just her kids, but the family as a whole.

Yes we men go out and do the “hard” work. Yes we toil “15 hours” a day at times just so that we can make that extra buck to buy that one thing for our kids. But imagine, spending 20 hours a day keeping the house clean, making breakfast for everyone, taking the kids to school, Paying the bills. I’d rather work by the roadside picking up stones than do all of that. Sorry we just can’t do that. And if you think, nahh that’s all too easy, try carrying a baby in your fat belly for 9 months. Try eating for it, sleeping with it, taking extra care just for it. Dude, accept it, we can’t. I always find myself to be extremely “lucky” to be born as a man and not a woman because no matter how mentally strong we men are; only a woman can do that. Only she has the mental strength to go through the pain of labor, the pain of letting her husband be a dickhead, the pain of her kids growing up disrespecting her.Only she can put up with it with it whilst still not shying away from her so called “duties”.

You might wonder what the hell has gotten into me, but I had to make this very clear some or the other day. I had to elucidate when a few days ago I got into a petty argument with one of the girls on my friends list on Mark Zuckerberg’s revolution called Facebook which by the way provides so many opportunities for me to vent out my frustration at dickheads talking obscene politics and general gender specific gibberish. But after misunderstanding my joke, the argument went to a point where I had to explain the woman that I wasn’t a dick or a Male Chauvinist Pig as they love to call it. Anything but that. She got the point across successfully or not is another story but I there wasn’t enough place or privacy there on the status updates to explain her the real situation. I promised her a blog.

This is for all of those so called gents out there who think the world doesn’t go beyond their intelligence and to all those women out there who think Cinderella is real. Sorry people, Disney has fucked with your brains all too much for you to smell the real thing. Life isn’t all that much of a beautiful journey when it comes to relationships. As I have said it again, let me reiterate, there is no real love. Don’t be daft and throw names like Shane West, Mandy Moore, Gerard Butler, Hilary Swank etc on my face. Don’t take movies for real. Take inspiration from it, don’t enact it in real life. There is nothing more stupid than doing what a guy did on the teli for a cool million dollars. There is no selfless deed in this world. You love someone which you mistake for attraction. A guy loves a girl because she looks beautiful. A girl loves a guy because he looks beautiful. Let me tell you something, there is nothing good or beautiful in this world, a beauty of a thing lies in your ability to appreciate it. I might find a red rose beautiful while you might find a yellow one better. Does that mean the red one is less beautiful than the yellow one & vice-versa? No it isn’t. Our point of view differs. The point is, would you love the same rose when it dries up? When it has lost its charm? No You wouldn’t, you’d go for the next one or a new one. Explains a lot doesn’t it? This is how we humans think. I detest snakes while my friend loves it to the point where I doubt he has sex with it when no one’s around. Awful? Sounds so, but for me, not for him!

I had a friend or rather have a friend who I wouldn’t name here. He has a simple philosophy - to have sex with as many girls as he can. Whatever he gets in his plate, he’d bone it. Fair enough. Nothing new you might say. This is what we men are all about aren’t we? But then comes the real bolt from the blue. He says he would expect his wife to have never had sex before when she gets married to him. A virgin. Bummer? He says he’d not let his wife wear skimpy clothes or put on too much make up. He’d not let his wife to go out and party much. I bet he’d kill every guy his wife talks to. Bless his friends. So I questioned him about the fairness of this all and he had a simple answer too. He said offcourse we are men, we are allowed to fuck about but she’s a woman, she can’t do that. I didn’t feel like arguing about it as I felt there was no point in arguing with someone who has such clear thoughts about how things should be.

I met someone recently who said to me, to bed a girl you don’t need good looks or a lot of notes with the queens portrait on it. All you need, he expertly said, is a bottle of cheap champagne and “coke” worth a few quids. How magnificent! Or rather, how efficient. This is our attitude towards women. We weave such a stronghold around them that they get emotionally hooked onto it and don’t want to leave us ever again. We’re good at it. Not just us but women are not too far behind in this game of love. We always act all goody goody to the girl. Buy her expensive gifts, flowers, talk hollywoodish to get into her pants. Fast forward a few weeks/months and she is so emotionally involved that you are sure no matter what you’d do, at the most she’d be pissed for a few days but she won’t dump you. Acts eitherways but it’s the truth. Wouldn’t you rather have a guy who is as crystal clear (rude or not) to you from the beginning that the one who talks like Shah Rukh Khan initially and starts fading into Shakti Kapoor? Why would you feel embarrassed if a guy tells you a dirty joke. Don’t tell me girls don’t watch porn or read adult jokes. We are not in high school. I hate people who are pretentious. Of course there is a fine line between being filthy and being a sport but always acting like a princess is going to fetch you no-one but a guy who is good at being a knight in shining armour…till he beds you. Stop it don’t argue, but that is the truth. Not all men are like that you’d say. But try and find one who isn’t and lets see what is easier, finding a honest bloke or shooing away a wanker! I am not over-generalizing.

Lets not blame it on the guy though, unfortunately we lot are ruled by our testosterones most of the times than the neurons. We see a hot girl, we’re going to look at her. Doesn’t matter if we’re married or single, with a woman or not. What matters is how we react after it. Dropping the jaw and lusting your tongue out when you’re with your girlfriend/wife is not going to score you any good points. But at the same time, just because he looked and appreciated her beauty doesn’t mean he’s a total disaster either. Nature is weird, we can’t help it.

So all I am saying to you women and men out there is stop being stupid and be a sport. Its that simple. Flirting and boning isn’t the answer to every question.

Btw Lets clear up the Cinderella Story while we are at it for all you women out there:

Cinderella: The Real Story.

Cinderella is forced by her bitchy stepmother to clean the house from stem to stern every day. The only thing that prevents her from swallowing a bottle of pain killers is her belief that someday her dreams will come true.

One day Cinderella plans to attend a ball thrown by the prince, but the fact that she has a cutthroat bitch for a stepmother completely slipped her mind. She is forbidden from going.

Luckily, it turns out Cinderella has a fairy godmother, who uses her magic to hook Cinderella up with a ride, a beautiful outfit and a pair of what would seem like grossly impractical glass heels. In the whole fucking kingdom, none had the same shoe size as Cinderella's. But anyway, at the ball Cinderella uses her innate flirting skills and rocks the prince's world, to the point that the next day the prince whisks her away to be his princess.

The Supposed Message: Dreams do come true!

The Actual Message: If you wait around long enough, the universe will practically hand stuff to you.

"Could you fix my credit score while you're at it?"

Explanation: No one is denying the fact that Cinderella's life was one big shit stain. But in her state of mind, she actually thought that her dreams would just sort of happen if she sat around being miserable long enough. It never occurred to her that she had the ability to just tell her stepmother to go fuck herself.

Instead she kept scrubbing floors and believing that, if she continued to wish very hard and take absolutely no action, everything would fall into place. And what do you know, the bitch gets a fucking kingdom out of it.

So don't worry, girls. Some kind of "Fairy Godmother" will sweep into your life at any moment, and find you a man to take care of everything. Just keep wishing!

PS. I’d appreciate your honesty in the comments section. If you are too incensed with it or argue over it, you may wish to email me and vent it all out. Cheers! ;)