Hammer Time!
Suffering one of the greatest reversals in fortune since R Kelly bought a video camera, West Ham are having a nightmare. Losing a sponsor is one thing, losing two quality defenders is plain careless. But being fined for Sheffield United being crap is downright unfair! West Ham may have got a bewildered Tevez on loan from El Del Boy but he was only one player in a team that played its way out of trouble – Sheffield United’s team didn’t. How about athletes suing other countries’ teams for having better training facilities? How about ugly people suing people who got married after having plastic surgery?
Scolari: Diary of the Manager
I even more of genius now as even Kalou score with me here! I think next week the linesman will score from 30 yards just cos I near him! Chelsea were slightly disappoint that we not beat the Manchester United but we were better side and if my little Deco had been playing we would have won by fourteen goals. At least I learn lot of useful English like ‘I didn’t see the incident’ or ‘A point is still a point’ and ‘It is a game of two calves:’ our donkey calf was definitely Anelka! Aye currumba he could not hit water falling out of a boat. I say you want to make the angel with the hands get the devil out of your feet beardo! He sulk like big girl of course but when I say ‘Play better or I buy Michael Owen at Christmas’ he train a bit harder.
THE FOOTIE 100
Rich City Boys
Jay Rodriguez – Burnley Local lad dumps Premiership team out of the Carling Cup. It’s like a Roy of the Rovers storyline but with better hair.
Michel Kuiper – Brighton Great save to put Brighton past Man City… what do they say about money not being everything?
Damien Stewart – QPR Headed a goal that means Aston Villa will have another season of mediocrity.
Collapsed American Bank Employees
Emmanuel Pogatetz – Middlesbrough Terrible tackle on Man U’s Possebon makes him now the most hated man in Surrey.
Hayden Mullins – West Ham Rounding off a perfect week for the Hammers with an own goal to knock them out of the only Cup competition teams like West Ham could win.
Newcastles defence – All of them Easily confused with an episode of the Chuckle Brothers.
WAG WATCH
Golf WAG SPECIAL
OK, Europe lost the Ryder Cup but they’ve certainly got a better class of WAG than footballers and jokes that revolve around the following five words
1) wood
2) ride her
3) balls
4) bogey
5) birdies
Anyway - have a look at the ladies HERE
Some more Diaries:
Anyone who’s ever watched a Jackie Chan film knows that the underdog can always win, get the stunning girl, change the world and maybe have a nice sing song. Hull are very much like a Jackie Chan film apart from the changing the world bit. And the stunning girls. That team are heroes at the moment, up at seventh in the league and not afraid of anyone. They’ve got the pretty boys of Arsenal next and must fancy their chances, and to be truthful, so do I. A couple of hard tackles and an eight man defence and they could nick it one nil – and at 12/1 it’s well worth a flutter.
Gets inside: Terence ‘Terry’ Venables
So Toony Venables is it now? If El Tel does take over at Newcastle fans will hope he’ll bring the magic of Euro 96 with him and not the tragic of Euro 2008. And let’s face it; the tanned one knows a thing or two about management having had some form of coaching role with Crystal Palace, QPR, Barcelona, Spurs, Australia, Middlesbrough, and Leeds, even acting as Chairman of Portsmouth for about 5 minutes. Let’s not forget he was an England player in his day, capped twice in the late 1960s and has won his fair share of cups in his own little barrel chested way. But what will the Toon Army make of the man? He might be alright if he brings Shearer with him…
THE LAST WORDS:
"I would rather Arsenal win the league than certain other teams" - Sir Alex Ferguson. No really. Please.
