Sadness is all I've ever known.
Inside my retched body it has grown.
It has eaten me away,
to what the fuck I am today.

There's nothing left for me to say.
There's nothing there for me to hate.
There's no feelings, and there's no thoughts.
My body's left to fucking rot.
Life sucks, life sucks, life sucks,
Who gives a fuck man, who gives a fuck!

It has been fucking this way,
since my fucking waking day.
Boredom has taken over my brain.
Chilled the blood inside my veins
Left me in this place insane.
All in sickness and in pain.

Everyday we gotta rot away in school
Rot on da net, rot on orkut,
I'm feeling like a fucking fool
I HATE EVERYONE,
they all hate me in return.
People bitching off my ear.
I can no longer fucking hear.
Nothing ever goes my way.
And it's never gonna fucking change.
Life sucks, life sucks, life sucks, life sucks

I hate my life, I hate my life,
I hate my life, I hate my life!

LIFES A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Loner?

It was really making me restless thinkin if I really was a loner or it was just that I acted like one? I have a happy medium on the loner scale. I enjoy socializing, but I also have my moods when I'd rather be alone. Social interaction is important for forming human bonds, getting support and affirming my own personal identity. (As Charles Augustin Sainte-Beauve said, "Tell me who admires and loves you, and I will tell you who you are.") But it's equally important to do things for myself, have time to reflect and explore the world in my own way. In fact, doing things on my own makes me a stronger, more interesting person. Whether or not I consciously aspired to this state of harmony between independence and human bonding, I seem to have achieved it!
You still think am a Loner? aheemmm!!

Hyper Limey

"We've Declared a Level-Three Heatwave Alert!"
So thundered the news from the Met Office this week.
It was like that scene from some Hollywood flick where the bad man declares some nuclear threat and the United States moves to DefCom4.
It's a BIT OF SUNSHINE for crying out loud!!!!! Geeeeeeeeezzzz!!!
People shiver in the pissing rain, especially in Manchester, for 50 weeks of the year.
A bit of nice weather is fantastic, not a reason for running berserk to the air raid shelters.
OK, it's a bit unpleasant seeing fat skinheads swigging beer from plastic cups with their T-shirts off or wid T-shirts saying stuff like, FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK or Poiting downwards and saying..WANT BEER? TAP IS HERE!
But...But....but...there is plenty of eye candy to make up for it.
Yes, a few old dears will collapse (Tip: Take your duffel coat off, Love!) and the odd moron will leave Fido to bake in the back of the Volvo.
But all said, I kinda hate the hot weather as much as I love it. It isn't really fun to wake up in the morning when the sun is shining right on your face through the window and you are feeling frikkin baked. Even not that much fun for those who sat next to me at work as I drip sweat like a leaky tap, but bugger it. The lack of clothing makes up for it and after all...winter starts again on friday! :D

Life's priorities!

It was a unusual day on friday (19th May). I was studying at night which is rare but yeah I was. I was continously studying for almost 7 past nights for almost 5 to 6 hrs till morning for my assignment which I was supposed to submit on 24th. So on that friday night, I was trying to find a very rare song on da net which led me to download a software. After installing that software, my machine freezed and after few futile attempts to make it steady again, I restarted it. But later it just couldn't restart. It was a system crash which wasn't somefin new to me. I tried repairing it but after trying in vain for almost 3 hours, I realised that it wasn't just that. Even da so called genius Mr. Satyajeet couldnt help me in it so I figured out that the problem was grave. Yeah I lost all my data, all my assignments, all my hard work. I had taken too much pain for da first time since my 10th grade for this assignment. I am quite famous for starting to study one or two days before the examz (A one day innings). But this time as my machine fucked up, I also realised that Test matches isn't really my ball game. Anyways...it cost me frekkin 3 days of my job to re-do both of my assignments again. Though I submitted da assignment on time, it wasn't the best of my work.

But after I finished my submissions, I realised something really strange. I knew that computers formed a very important part of my life but this revelation was something different. For da days after my submission, the shops were closed due to saturday Sunday holidays and bank holidays n various other reasons so I couldn't fix my lappy for the next 5 tp 6 days. Those days were like the longest days of my life. I couldn't really do anything. I didnt know how someone utilises his time without computers. It made me unbearably restless for the first two days. But then how important these new things are in my life? I spent time by reading my Management books which I surprisingly found out to be quite interesting. I started watchin shows on the Teli which were good though I found many to be mindnumbingly stupid but atleast I knew that there is much more on da teli than Football matches. I also got a lot of time to call my family and friends who were shocked to see me call them on my own. (they are the ones who call me n I seldom call them once in two months. I know thats so sick but there you go...thats me). Me being totally devoid of internet connection made me recieve many mails from my rather supportive friends
askin if I was ok as they didnt see me online or on orkut since many days. These reactions were making me realise that I am so much attached to internet and this new frekkin habbits like orkut and online gaming n all. There is more to life than just internet and computers I thought. I made up my mind that I am not gonna spend much time on orkut or yahoo or gamespy or whatever. I also prayed one day. Recited da Ganapti Stotra which even must've stunned da almighty. I felt a real sense of pleasure, calmness & satisfaction for once. Though da most important thing I was missing was my Music. I felt really sad for losing my awesome collection, But I thought anyways, I've learnt a lot from this experience. I am gonna improve on it. I made
a resolution to avoid being on da net and spend more time reading, thinking, hangin out, calling my family n friends, Study, pray, etc etc. Now came the 1st of June. I decided to fix my baby now. I took her to many shops where I found out da prices to fix her were totally impossible for me to bear. Even more than the price of da new HDD. So I took a gamble, purchased a new HDD and fixed my lappy all by myself. I was so happy when it made the first WINDOWS LOGON SOUND. Now after trying to keep up wid my resolution, I have realised that nothing can stop me from doing what I used to do. FREAK OUT ON DA NET! COMPUTERS are my toys and I cant stay from it. Internet is my oxygen without which I can't live. All those things which I decided I should be doing have taken a back seat. But hell man, why should someone do what he doesnt wanna do and why should someone stop doing what he loves doing? Whats so bad in staying online anyways? When people ask me why da hell r u online all da time, I dont really know what to answer. Whats bad in staying connected anyways? It really irritates me. When You have a 1 MB connection, unlimited download, a good lappy, lots of time, do you expect me to shut down my machine and spend watching fuckall shows on da teli or go out and hang out wid da nigs who one day would kill me for one or da otha reason. Fuck man I dont give a horses ass about what poeple think. If I care so much about what everyone thinks, my trasformation would again be back to da old lame alok! So I am happy with what I am and what I do. If anyone has a problem, prove it me that its somefin wrong that I am doing or just go rot in hell!!!!!

Virtual World

Well, sometimes u really dont expect things to happen, but when you loose all hope, they just happen. In february this rather unbelievable question was killing me - What should I do with my spare time? I was bored of playing MOHAA for 8 hrs a day all week long n FIFA was getting dull as well. Yahoo chatting was no better. There was no TV. Just I had my laptop, my internet connection, my brain....all empty! No ideas. When My friend told me about this site - Orkut. I was first reluctant to join such a socialising site but when I came to know that 'certain' people who I would love to see are there already, I cheerfully accepted the invitation and joined in. To my astonishment, I saw all my school friends n that special someone too. I was so fucking happy. I did meet all of em. As usual everyone was equally astonished to see me after a long time n they couldnt believe that I was in London. Alok Shinde....In london.....bullshit!!! I had such a low profile in school that everyone thought I was kidding. One ov my pals even said that when he told his other pals they were laughing their asses off! I didnt know what to say though it was sounding a bit demeaning but I took it rather happily anyways!!
I had a motive in my mind as to what I wanned to do on joining orkut! I did it, rather unsuccessfully, but am happy now that I did that!
Its been almost 2 n half months since I've joined orkut n today I have 116 friends! Even I cant believe that. I met some real quality people on orkut. I shared with them, laughed with them and its going pretty cool now! These are like one ov the most wonderfull buncha weirdos i've seen especially the fairer sex! There are some real quality gurls out there on orkut. I cant believe that Pune really has got quality. Some gurls r just too good! n some dudes r just too dumb! Lmao! Enjoying it!

But now this new question is killing me! Am I spending too much time here? people think I am online all da time coz Ive got nuthin to do! lolz! Whats da problem in stayin online. I login from my cell lots of times even when I am outside! But does staying online means you r a dumbfuck!?
Some ov my friends say, I am flirting wid gurls! hehehehe!! Just being nice is flirting?? I wish I knew how to flirt! Being nice to someone from the virtual world is risky..yeah...but not bad! For some, its just a strict no-no. There is certainly no harm in being courteous...in fact it always pays to be nice to people! Be it the real world or virtual, being nice to people is a feel-good thing and it does wonders to everyone's mood. We have Etiquette in the real world, and for the net we have Chatiquette! But now who cares. I am nice to everyone n those who care, r nice to me. Those who think am a fuckin despo can have their own views! I really dont give a damn!

N this is for ol who hv been there! nice one!

There came a day,When I met you.
A friendship was born
That we both pursued .
A special bond
That quickly grew.
It was lovely and grand,
And all brand new.
Through caring and sharing,
We learned to be
The best of friends
Yes, you and me.
Even through tears,
The sun shines through.
Without your warmth,
What would I do?
Thank you, thee my friend,
For being there!